Inanition

Being and Inanition; Fast Times Diary, Part III

By John Taylor; 2007 Mar 14

This year a decision by legislators in the US to extend Daylight Savings Time by three weeks has, just as I was getting used to the normal duration, effectively increased this man's fast by one hour and plunked mealtime right into the evening, at precisely 7:20 PM right now. Bad enough this unelected, De Facto world government should hog the rightful resources of billions of poor, betraying their own ideals by taxing without representation, now by a fiat intended to save money they have the audacity to make my fast times a little longer and little harder. Well, as the feminists say, what is personal is political.

Not that I am complaining, mind you. The fast is a bounty. But it does make you notice funny things about your body. In the first days it becomes clear how marked is the difference between a full stomach and an empty one, and not just to the stomach. I do not know if other fasters feel this way, but when my stomach is in the process of digesting it feels untouchable, slightly uncomfortable to the touch. I keep my belt loose and avoid any push or pressure against my midriff. It is slightly bloated and when I sit I loosen everything. But during the fast I can bend forward and lean on my belly without discomfort. Indeed the slight pressure is not entirely unpleasant. I feel I have a new gut.

As the fast draws out the former state of digestion and incessant refueling starts to feel like the abnormal state. An almost delicious emptiness down below becomes the norm. The emptiness and weakness in the mind is the real problem, one that I never get used to. But the holiday from daytime digesting feels so pleasant that sometimes after my non-lunch I lie supine on the bed, hands on belly, gently massaging my voided nether regions. Miles of digestive tract, left idle, like some massive superhighway emptied of vehicles in the middle of rush hour. A gift straight from Baha'u'llah Himself; other gifts are mixed, with multiple causes and mixed motives, but this feels pure.

Early on this fast I got more than usually zoned out and must have slipped into a slight delirium. It was late in the afternoon and I was overcome with lassitude, despair and sleepiness. I wandered toward bed for a nap. I was walking up to the bed when I had this weird other-worldly experience. I felt weak, about to fall forward. I had a desire to reach out and embrace Baha'u'llah for help. Not metaphorically, literally; I get sick of prayers and reflection, I just wanted to touch Him and bury my head in His shoulder. I reached out my arms (I do not remember if I really did extend my arms, or imagined it all) and was about to embrace Him, feeling very desperate. But instead of hugging Him it was not Him before me but the word "Baha'u'llah" in giant letters. As I embraced Him my left arm encircled the second "a" and my right arm pulled to my breast the "u", and the apostrophe between them bumped my nose. What a letdown! It was not Baha'u'llah I was hugging but floaty letters bigger than me. As I hugged tighter the letters moved away as if they were on ice and I sunk into bed. This freaked me out but comforted me strangely.

I think often during this fast about an as-yet-unfinished study reported a few weeks ago in New Scientist magazine. It seems that this Scandinavian professor, a dietitian, was fascinated by Morgan Spurlock's documentary, "Supersize Me!," and is repeating it under rigorous scientific conditions. He recruited twelve men and six women from among his students to act as guinea pigs -- for some reason he had great trouble finding woman students willing to participate. They were unwilling it seems to sacrifice their svelte figures and perfect health in exchange for free fast food. Women! Who will ever understand them?

Anyway, so far this experiment has found a range of physical reactions to an all-junk diet among the participants. Spurlock, who almost had to stop the experiment so fast was his health declining was, it turns out, definitely on the sensitive end of the spectrum. Some bodies bear under a month of supersizing with few deleterious effects, at least as current indicators can measure.

But what struck me was the bad esthetic reaction that all of them, sensitive or not, felt during this time. Here they were, all thin, healthy youths suddenly gorging themselves on large fast food meals, and every one of them reported a vague feeling of unease and slight discomfort, a bloated feeling they found distinctly unpleasant -- not unlike my relief at not digesting during the afternoon of the fast. During the entire length of the study they felt uncomfortable in their skin and when they stop, they return to their normal sense of slight hunger with relief. In other words, fattening oneself, the vice of gluttony, is not only not natural to a healthy human body, it does not even feel good, as one might expect.

As I say, I read about this study a month ago but only in this fast time do I see first hand how it could possibly be true. It really does feel pleasant and natural to feel slight hunger during the day. It only feels natural to obese fellows like me because of my neglect and bad habits introduced gradually over many months and years. Constant gorging is unpleasant. It feels unpleasant. Say it to yourself John: yuck. Because an empty intestinal system feels so good now I have been trying to extend the feeling around the clock by reducing the amount I eat in the evening when I break the fast. My goal is to feel a little hunger, even just after a meal, as the Lawh-i-Tibb recommends.

This is harder than it sounds.

Over the past year, since I made a study of the Lawh-i-Tibb, I have been paying close attention to my feeling of hunger around mealtime and I swear that I feel no hunger even before a meal, much less afterwards. The clock makes me eat, not my stomach -- this habit I acquired intentionally because irregular meals tend to provoke migraines. But this is in direct disobedience to the Tablet to the Doctor, which says to eat only when hungry. Now in this month of Ala I notice that my sense of hunger is so dulled that even after fasting 12 hours I feel not a trace of hunger. I still eat because the clock says to do so. Of course, once I start eating hunger does kick in and it becomes hard to stop.

I chip away at the lack-of-hunger problem by using smaller plates and bowls and systematically limiting portions. But even gradually reduced intake over many months does not mean that I am close to feeling hunger ever, at the start or end of meals. I figure I will have to cut calorie intake by at least half to even approach that exalted goal. Maybe if I work hard all next year and continue to avoid migraine attacks that will be my goal for the next fast.