wills and ends

Odds and Ends; Blog, Feedback, Ethical Wills

By John Taylor; 2007 Dec 06, 2007, 14 Qawl, 164 BE

 

Today let us deal with several odds and ends. First a Baha'i writer's blog that may be of interest is that of Jack McLean. Entries of particular interest are the one on the Master's visit to Montreal, at:

http://iamanaref.blogspot.com/2007/09/preparing-for-centenary-of-abdul-bahs.html

And the entry on Dr. Varqa, at:

http://iamanaref.blogspot.com/2007/11/divine-simplicity-remembering-last-hand.html

One of the requirements of Baha'i law is to write a will. For those like myself without a big fortune, it is possible to leave something more valuable than money, a so-called ethical will. I just read a novel by a local Dunnville writer about a will, "Big Man Going Down The Road," by Brad Smith, so I have wills on my mind. Three characters inherit a company each from a rich father. What a great legacy that would be for me! Unless, of course, it were the whisky company one character got. What would a Baha'i do with such a legacy? I will include information about ethical wills at the end of this blog entry. But first, some reader feedback.

Jimbo wrote me about a prayer that was mentioned in a recent essay. He later mentioned that the song he mentioned is available gratis on his website, at http://members.shaw.ca/songs, a site that I also recommend. Jimbo wrote:

 

Hi John!  Those beautiful prayers are from the Tablets of Abdu'l-Baha v3, p. 588, but the first prayer at least I believe has been re-translated as thus:

"O Thou pure God! I am a little child; grant that the breast of Thy loving kindness be the breast that I cherish; suffer me to be nourished with the honey and the milk of Thy love; rear me in the bosom of thy knowledge, and bestow upon me nobility and wisdom while I am still a child. O Thou the Self- Sufficing God! Make me a confidant of the Kingdom of the Unseen. Verily, Thou art the Mighty, the Powerful! ('Abdu'l-Baha, "Let Thy breeze refresh them...," Baha'i Publishing Trust 1976.)

I have put music to this prayer and I've sung it to my youngest child often over the years.  She's 14 now and she still asks me to sing it to her from time to time.

Apparently we can ask the World Center if a prayer has been re-translated (especially from the old 1919 Tablets of 'Abdu'l-Baha) and they will be happy to share with us any new translation. Any yes, of course, some of the old translations have their unique beauty also.

Veteran Badi-blog reader Jean has been corresponding with me about the Dalai Lama.

 

Hi John,

Interesting that you call for a religious scholar, critic and conscience for the religious establishment. One such person might be the Dalai Lama -- except he doesn't seem interested in documenting the misdeeds of others, rather his goal is to help human beings be more fair and loving toward each other, whether they are just ordinary folk like us, or world leaders in politics, science, entertainment or religion.

He came to speak in Ithaca a couple of weeks ago, and in preparation (and also afterward) I've been reading some of his writings and have also listened to a long audio-book about a conference between the D.L. and advanced Buddhist practitioners on one side, and psychologists and neuroscientists on the other side, on the topic of Destructive

 ... Of course there are great gulfs between Buddhism and the Baha'i Faith in terms of cosmology and the relationship of humans to the transcendent (we would say God, and they might say Nirvana or Buddha-nature) but as Baha'u'llah pointed out, all major religions are divinely inspired and hold the same social objectives of improving our souls and our society.

 Based on the results of that conference, I believe that the mind training methods used by Buddhist practitioners to develop compassion and loving-kindness, moderate anger, reduce craving and enhance mental focus and concentration, could very well be employed in a secular context, or even in a non-Buddhist religious context, to help us all be more patient and altruistic human beings who are more considerate of each other and of the larger good.  The Baha'i faith calls us to a certain standard of behavior which is not at all easy to achieve.   Buddhist-style meditation may offer techniques of training the mind and spirit to meet those demands more closely. It's comparable to physical training for a marathon... Not everyone can run a marathon, but if someone sincerely desires to run a marathon, it is certainly safer and more efficient to train under expert guidance than to try to figure it out on one's own.

 There's a Buddhist monastery in town (the reason that the D.L. visited here in the first place) They offer meditation training to the general public.  I may try this out. ... My regards to your family.

 

Ethical Wills

I am afraid that I forget where I got the following information. Somewhere on the internet. Probably a website called "ethical wills." Anyway, I kept this information for my own ethical will project, and cannot resist sharing it here as well.

An ethical will is a good-bye letter that sums up your life's aims. You write this will in order to pass on your values instead of your valuables. It is not legally binding. It is not a living will, either, which is no more than an final care directive. An ethical will, instead, is closer to advice. It is a re-statement of the lessons you learned in life. It's an ancient practice; the earliest examples are 3,000 years old, and not uncommon among some Jewish communities. In the days of illiteracy, the deceased's will was read aloud for all concerned to hear. Why not annex one little last sermon for them since you had a captive audience at a moment when they are really paying attention? What began as a supplement to a legacy will is now enjoying a role of its own. As you age, you set down your values, stories and other intangibles you wish to pass onto others. This letter says the unsaid, clarifies the mind, stretches across generations. For many families, this missive may become the most valuable thing you leave behind.

You don't need this book, Ethical Wills, to figure out how to write one. Any style or form is fine; the more uniquely personal, the better. The book has collected some modern and traditional examples of ethical wills, which is what I found most useful. It lays out the reasons and steps to begin if you need encouragement. I've begun mine (it should be a work in progress) and have discovered that one of the best reasons to do it is for my own sake. Like journal-keeping, it's an act of self-discovery. Unlike diaries, the total effort may be as short as one sheet of paper. I find it motivational to contemplate this possibility: how wonderful would it be if I could read the ethical wills of each of my grandparents and their parents? I find few things as thrilling as passing on values that might be replicated for generations.

Neither this book, nor any of the other related books and websites that I've read, have mentioned an intriguing alternative to a written ethical will: a short video. Many people who are not comfortable writing would be comfortable talking. Video cameras are cheap; you could do some really powerful statements of your values and perspective that might speak to future generations. If you go this route, use a common format so there is a chance someone can view it a century from now.

When you die you'll leave behind a long trail of textual bits scattered over the world, but what you should leave is a distilled succinct package, a one-page, 5-minute testimony of you being you, so that if the rest of your recorded self should disappear, at least we'll know what you thought was important. And I can promise you this, you'll learn something doing it.

book: Ethical Wills, by Barry K. Baines 2006, 217 pages

Thirteen years ago, I first learned about an ancient tradition for passing on personal values, beliefs, blessings, and advice to future generations called an "ethical will." At a subconscious level, I must have remembered the custom, because when my father was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1990, I asked him to write a letter about the things that he valued. About a month before he died, my dad gave me two handwritten pages in which he spoke about the importance of being honest, getting a good education, helping people in need, and always remaining loyal to family. That letter -- his ethical will -- meant more to me than any material possession he could have bequeathed.

Ethical wills were particularly advantageous outlets for women, since society's rules usually precluded them from writing a legal will or dispensing property as they wished. Historians have found examples of ethical wills authored by women during the medieval period, usually in the form of letters or books written to their children.

Examples:

This will was written in the earlier part of the twentieth century. It has a very interesting history. In the pocket of an old ragged coat belonging to one of the insane patients at a Chicago poorhouse, a will was found after his death. According to Barbara Boyd, in the Washington Law Reporter, the man had been a lawyer, and the will was written in a firm clear hand on a few scraps of paper. So unusual was it, that it was sent to another attorney; and so impressed was he with its contents, that he read it before the Chicago Bar Association and a resolutions was passed ordering it probated. It is now in the records of Cook County Illinois.

ITEM: To lovers, I devise their imaginary world, with whatever they may be need, as the stars of the sky, the red roses by the wall, the bloom of the hawthorn, the sweet strains of music, and aught else they may desire to figure to each other the lastingness and beauty of their love.

ITEM: To young men jointly, I devise and bequeath all boisterous inspiring sports of rivalry, and I give to them the disdain of weakness and undaunted confidence in their own strength. Though they are rude, I leave them to the powers to make lasting friendships, and of possessing companions, and to them exclusively I give all merry songs and brave choruses to sing with lusty voices.